standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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