This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
