No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
