Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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