Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
