Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
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