What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
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