She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
