I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
