The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
