Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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