white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
