I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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