You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
