My friends, they love my intelligence
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
