you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
