lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
