I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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