im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
