yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
