Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Alive.
So much puke
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
