goodnight i made you a song goodbye
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
