i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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