1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you would pick up someone in the library
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
