Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
