I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
