Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
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there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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