i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
