I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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