For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
