stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
