the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize
