i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
