Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
