When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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