My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
