Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
