names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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