u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
