It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He better not be in your backpack
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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