hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
