so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
