Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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