All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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