I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
