areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
