Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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