Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
