I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We had to coat check the pizza.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
