shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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