Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
