Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
