i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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