i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
