Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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