what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
