I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
my poor anus
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
