I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
