i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize