Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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