Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
